In the 2022 national lottery list published online, Jiangxi topped the list with 380000 yuan of lottery without garage. Although the information transmitted online is not authoritative enough, the "sky-priced bride price" is indeed a sharp weapon for mothers-in-law to "beat the mandarin duck", and also makes some rural families face the embarrassment of "difficult to marry". How to cool down the "priceless betrothal gifts"? Jiangxi has adopted many practical and new measures in order to change customs.
An immovable betrothal giftIn Guangchang County, Fuzhou City, a poverty-stricken county in the past, Zheng Senhua, the boss of a marriage agency, said that rural people were afraid of being gossipy when they married their daughters - "the hard-trained daughters will be given to others for free", "no betrothal gifts will be accepted, and the daughters will be returned". For some time in the past, local betrothal gifts were less than 128000 yuan, and some required "one move (car), one move (house)" and "ten thousand purple (five yuan note color), one thousand red (one hundred yuan note color)" in addition to the betrothal gifts.
Pan Shuilan, Jindun Village, Huangxi Town, Yujiang District, Yingtan City, who has been a matchmaker for nearly 50 years, said that under the influence of competition, the local betrothal gifts once averaged around 400000 yuan, some even "as high as the edge". Lai Shiqin, an 81-year-old villager of Changxi Village, Pingshan Town, Shicheng County, said that before the promotion of the work of changing customs, the number of red envelopes for marriage in the village was up to 36. According to the minimum standard, it would also cost 15000 yuan. Plus the money for the bride price, it would be necessary to marry a wife of 1.2 million yuan, while the annual income of many rural families was only 35000 yuan.
In some rural areas, the proportion of unmarried young men and women who are suitable for marriage is unbalanced, which also makes it difficult for young rural men to marry their wives. A village secretary said that among the local marriageable single youth aged 20 to 40, there are nearly 150 males and less than 20 females.
Tree Xinfeng also got the actual actionIn the past, many matchmakers always felt that more betrothal gifts were needed to show "the woman's wealth and the man's sincerity". To this end, Jiangxi has explored and held matchmaker training courses to make matchmakers "change their minds" and "change their practices", and become propagandists and demonstrators of changing customs.
In Xiangshan Community, Yuehu District, Yingtan City, Zheng Jianmei, who has been a matchmaker for more than 10 years, was touched by a blood case told in the training class - a man who was suspected of killing his fiancee because of his repentance after giving him a dowry of 228000 yuan. "Matchmaking is not only about matchmaking, but also about social responsibility." Zheng Jianmei said that she is more concerned about whether the new couple can last longer than whether the bride price is rich. Zhu Xinfeng, who has been a matchmaker for 25 years, is even willing to be a role model - marry her daughter in 2022 with "zero bride price" and also marry a house. In her view, the old idea should change, as long as the new couple is happy.
In addition, many places in Jiangxi have continued to promote the change of customs in the field of marriage customs by improving the system, strengthening guidance, standardizing management and other measures.
As early as 2017, Guangchang County included the evaluation of the work of changing customs in all villages into the scope of the performance evaluation of village cadres, and in 2022, it will be included in the ideological responsibility system assessment and the cadre education and training content. On September 28, 2022, Guangchang County held a group wedding for 10 couples with "zero betrothal gifts" to promote the fashion of new marriage. Rao Jiuxiu, the bride who attended the group wedding, said that the wedding was broadcast live online and watched more than 40000 people. Such a lively and ceremonial wedding could not be exchanged for many betrothal gifts.
In July 2019, Yuehu District of Yingtan City announced the standards for handling wedding, funeral and festive matters, and proposed specific rules such as "the total number of wedding lotteries should be controlled within 80000 yuan", "the number of bridesmaids per couple should generally not exceed 2, and the number of matchmakers should be controlled within 1000 yuan per person". Dong Zhihua, deputy director of the Publicity Department of Yuehu District Party Committee, said that these standards were put forward after fully salvaging the public opinion and combining the local reality, which can be recognized by the masses and promoted smoothly. Since 2022, 21 couples of "zero betrothal gifts" have emerged in the district.
Lai Caixia, the woman director of Changxi Village, Pingshan Town, Shicheng County, Ganzhou City, said that the village established a ancestral hall council. The members of the council promoted the new marriage ceremony for villagers with happy events at home, and wrote the specific contents of "the maximum amount of the bride price shall not exceed 50000 yuan" and "the banquet shall not exceed 15 seats (150 people)" into the village rules and regulations. At present, the bride price in the village is about 30000 yuan, and the cost of marriage is also reduced to 1/5 of the past.
It will take a long timeGrass-root cadres believe that changing customs is not a day's work. All localities need to take the initiative and continue to make efforts in terms of financial security, information platform construction, and party members and cadres taking the lead.
First, we need to ensure funding and make the change of customs sustainable. Grass-root cadres reflected that there was no way to implement the new marriage, but some towns and villages did not pay enough attention to it and lacked enthusiasm for work. It was necessary to further mobilize the enthusiasm of grass-roots autonomous organizations through policy guidance. Taking Guangchang County as an example, since 2017, the county finance has allocated 2 million yuan of special funds every year, and given the villagers' council 8000 to 12000 yuan of financial support according to work performance, for hardware construction; If the satisfaction of the masses to the members of the Council is excellent, the members of the Council can also get 200 yuan of overtime allowance for a marriage.
Second, we should improve services and build a platform for sharing marriage and love information. Since 2019, Guanfang Village, Honghu Township, Yujiang District, Yingtan City has tried to establish an online dating WeChat group, but at present there are less than 50 people in the dating group. Chai Linglin, head of Honghu Township, said that the establishment of information inventory at the village level is difficult in terms of insufficient resources and narrow coverage. It is suggested to build an information platform at a higher level and explore the functions of "single matchmaker" to facilitate the understanding and communication of rural single men and women.
Third, Party members should take the lead and give play to the guiding and exemplary role of grass-roots Party organizations. The son of Chen Xiaolin, the secretary of the Party branch of Xinfang Village, Pingshan Town, Shicheng County, married in August 2022. His daughter-in-law was from a neighboring village and did not ask for any betrothal gifts. The total cost of the reception was less than 100000 yuan. Chen Xiaolin said that zero and low betrothal gifts are common in the village.
Lai Hua, deputy director of the Civil Affairs Bureau of Shicheng County, and others suggested that party members and cadres should be encouraged to take the lead in changing customs, and by exploring ways such as the matchmaking of villagers' councils, the profit-making color of matchmakers should be weakened, the credibility and cohesion of grassroots cadres should be enhanced, and civil disputes arising from betrothal gifts should be reduced.