Henan has set up 20 "Marriage Custom Reform E

Jimu News Reporter Ding Wei

Recently, a woman in Henan showed off 268000 yuan as a bride price from her husband's family, which attracted heated discussion; After breaking up with his fiancee, a young man in Henan Province drove a banner to ask for nearly 180000 yuan of bride price with a big horn, which also attracted netizens' attention.

Jimu News reporters learned that in some rural areas of Henan Province, wedding betrothal gifts are heavy. In addition to the cost of buying three gold coins, building a new house, buying a new car, and holding a banquet, a man's wife will cost 34 million yuan at a minimum, or even 56 million yuan at most. It is difficult for ordinary families to bear the burden. Some families have been married for many years and still bear the foreign debt of bride price. It is not uncommon for them to go to court because of bride price disputes.

[P.

High price betrothal gifts, grand exercises and other stereotypes are not unique to each province and city. Recently, many departments of the state jointly issued the Special Work Plan for Tackling the Prominent Problems in Key Areas of Changing Social Customs in Rural Areas, such as High Price Bride Gifts and Mass Sports, to rectify these stereotypes.

How can marriage begin easily? How can families avoid carrying huge foreign debts due to marriage? How can villages solve the problem of "heavy bride price"? More and more attention has been paid. The government and society are trying to explore ways to solve the problem.

, He has hardly left the countryside for more than 60 years, and he is familiar with the local wedding customs.

Yang Lizhong introduced that in recent years, young people in local rural areas have been getting married and spending more and more outrageous. "Cash is only a part of the cost, and the heavier burden is cars and houses. As long as you are engaged, you will need houses. Now, labor, sand and cement are expensive. Building a house in a village can cost 200000 yuan for a small number of people. Some people can't just have a house in the village, but also require a house in the county seat." Yang Lizhong said that these are just big expenses, but there are also many small expenses, such as buying "three gold", changing mobile phones for girls, buying clothes, preparing 15 or 16 new quilts, holding a banquet, and giving money to the counter when getting married.

"After engagement and before marriage, if it's the Spring Festival or the Mid Autumn Festival, the man will drive a tricycle to the woman's house to send 'festival gifts', which is full of cars. Now it's popular to send a whole sheep, a case of wine, two cigarettes, various fruit drinks, etc., which will cost thousands of yuan." Yang Lizhong planned to get the marriage done, ranging from 30000 to 400000 yuan at least to 500000 to 600000 yuan at most. It cost millions of yuan to get married by children from families in the village.

"Now there is only one boy in the family who can't find a daughter-in-law. In the future, parents will be old and have a heavy burden. Two boys are more difficult. Basically, one son will spend all his money when he gets married, and he will also have to pay a debt. The second child will have no way to get married. The family situation is better, one daughter and one son. The best thing is that there are two daughters above and one son below, so the burden of children's marriage is the least The matchmaker likes it. " Yang Lizhong sighed about the high price of rural bride price and the difficulty of rural parents.

For an ordinary rural family, marriage costs a lot. Borrowing money from relatives and friends for marriage is the choice of most families, but most of these foreign debts are paid by elderly parents. "If you borrow money from others because of marriage, it's the most difficult to borrow it because you don't know when to pay it back. The old couple are both old, so they don't want to go out to work in many places. Only after a long time can they earn ten or two million yuan to return it to others." Yang Lizhong said that his nephew had been married for six or seven years, and more than 100000 yuan of foreign debt still remained unpaid.

"After the engagement, if the boys and girls can't get along, there is an unwritten custom in the local area. The girl can refuse to return the bride price if the boy withdraws. However, if the girl withdraws, the bride price must be returned." Yang Lizhong said that the large betrothal gifts given sometimes face risks.

Chen Qingsheng (a pseudonym), a fellow villager of Yang Lizhong, introduced that he got married four or five years ago when he was a young boy. After a rough calculation, the whole marriage cost 50000 or 600000 yuan. "I took 220000 yuan in cash alone, spent more than 200000 yuan to build a new house, and bought a car of about 100000 yuan, not including the cost of catering." Chen Qingsheng said that ordinary families could not afford to take out so much money at once. Most of the money was borrowed from relatives and friends. "Sometimes getting married is like buying lottery tickets. When you meet a reasonable family, you can get some of the gift back. If you are unlucky, you can't get a penny back when you meet someone who is unreasonable. It takes years to pay off the borrowed money." Chen Qingsheng said that he was also worried about his marriage, and the high price bride price had not yet been settled.

(Photo source: Xinhua News Agency)

Drive a banner to beg back the bride price

Lin Jing, a 26 year old man from Shangqiu, Henan Province (not his real name), is an older youth in the village. In February 2021, he met the local woman Chen Lu (not his real name) under the introduction of the matchmaker. Because their parents were worried about marriage, they got to know each other for only one week and then decided to marry on March 1, 2021. At the time of engagement, Lin Jing first gave Chen Lu 160000 yuan as a bride price, and then gave Chen Lu 11800 yuan as a box gift. In addition, Lin Jing's parents also gave Chen Lu thousands of yuan as a greeting gift and gift according to local customs. The whole family gave the "future daughter-in-law" a total of 179000 yuan.

Lin Jing's mother said that the family borrowed a lot from relatives in order to collect the high bride price. Lin Jing is more aware of the weight of this money. His parents are genuine farmers who are over 60 years old. 100000 yuan is the hard money that his parents have saved all their lives. The rest comes from relatives and friends.

Lin Jing is a migrant worker. After his engagement, he has been in contact with Chen Lu through WeChat. However, the good times are not long. He feels that Chen Lu's attitude has obviously become cold. "Sometimes she suddenly pulls me black." Lin Jing said that in the end, the two couldn't talk anymore, and the relationship couldn't be maintained. Chen Lu asked him to go home to get the bride price back.

However, it is not easy to get the money back. Lin Jing finally sued Chen Lu and her mother. In July 2022, the local court pronounced a judgment in the first instance of the case. The court held that, according to Article 5 of the Interpretation of the Supreme People's Court on the Application of the Marriage and Family Code of the Civil Code of the People's Republic of China (I), the plaintiff Lin Jing should return the bride price given to the defendant Chen Lu according to custom. Finally, the court ruled that Chen Lu and her mother must return the cash of Lin Jing's bride price of 120000 yuan.

However, after the verdict was issued, Chen Lu and her family did not return Lin Jing's bride price. In order to recover the money, Lin Jing drove to the village where Chen Lu's family lived. The car body pulled the banner "so and so paid me 180000 yuan as the bride price", and there was a big horn on the hood of the car to broadcast circularly: "I was engaged to my marriage for more than a month, cheated my family of more than 100000 yuan as the bride price, and was unwilling to return it..."

The young man drove in the village and broadcast a banner to recover the money for the lottery (photo source: video screenshot)

The incident that "the young man was cheated of 180000 lottery gifts and drove the banner to find someone" caused a huge response on the Internet. But Lin Jing's bride price dispute is not uncommon in some rural areas. According to media reports, as early as 2014, marriage bride price cases in Ningling County, Henan Province accounted for nearly one third of family affairs cases. In 2020, the Shangqiu Intermediate People's Court issued a special document judgment guide, which clearly stipulated that when returning the bride price, the part exceeding 100000 yuan should be returned in full, and the part within 100000 yuan should be returned in proportion. Efforts should be made to actively guide the people to lower the threshold of bride price with judicial policies, and promote changing customs.

Vigorously curbing high price bride price in many ways

High price bride price has also attracted the attention of government departments. According to the news on July 25 on the portal website of Henan Provincial Government, recently, through local declaration, research and investigation, comprehensive evaluation and other work links, the Department of Civil Affairs of Henan Province agreed to confirm Kaifeng City, Baofeng County and Ye County of Pingdingshan City, Puyang City, Yongcheng City of Shangqiu City, Huangchuan County of Xinyang City, Jiyuan Demonstration District and other 20 regions as the provincial experimental areas for marriage customs reform. Since then, all experimental areas have introduced relevant policies, in which the rectification of unhealthy tendencies such as high price bride price and competition with others has become an important work content.

Baofeng County, one of the experimental areas for the reform of marriage customs in Henan Province, subsequently issued the Implementation Plan of Baofeng County Civil Affairs Bureau for Promoting the Pilot Work of Marriage Custom Reform. According to the person in charge of the county civil affairs bureau, the new trend of civilized marriage and childbearing will be guided by various means to guide the majority of newlyweds to choose civilized, thrifty and dignified marriage and childbearing, and the unhealthy tendencies such as high price bride price, extravagance and waste, vulgar marriage and competition will be comprehensively rectified to create a good social atmosphere.

"Through investigation and research, in combination with the actual situation of local economic development, population structure, customs and folk customs, we advocate that the bride price of urban and rural residents should not be higher than 60000 yuan. By determining the 'height limit' for bride price, we should guide both parties to reduce the amount of bride price year by year, ask for less or not, put an end to large-scale practices, and promote the traditional virtue of thrift." Mengzhou City, Jiaozuo, which is also included in the 20 experimental areas of marriage customs reform, said in an interview with the media that the relevant person in charge of the Civil Affairs Bureau of Jiaozuo said that, according to the above standards, each township (street) guided each village to formulate and refine its own standards for red events based on the villagers' voluntary consultation and the principle of autonomy, and the village red and white council was responsible for implementation and supervision.

[P.

The national level also began to intervene in this matter. Recently, eight departments, including the National Bureau for Rural Revitalization, jointly issued the Work Plan for Special Treatment of Prominent Problems in Key Areas of Changing Customs in Rural Areas, such as High Price Bribery, Mass Sports and Mass Sports (hereinafter referred to as the "Plan"), which specifies that from August this year to December 2023, special treatment work will be carried out, focusing on the rectification of such stereotypes as high price lottery, human comparison, thick burial and thin maintenance, extravagance and waste, Reduce the burden on farmers, including migrant workers, to pay for favors, banquets, betrothal gifts, etc. in marriage and funeral ceremonies, so that the new marriage, simple funeral, filial piety and love of relatives, thrift and other civilized practices become more strong, and the countryside radiates a new atmosphere of civilization.

Multi sector joint governance of high price lottery (photo source: screenshot of the website of the Ministry of Agriculture and Rural Affairs)

The Plan clearly states that we should enter villages and households to experience the actual situation of such bad habits as high price lottery, human comparison, lavish burial and care, extravagance and waste, and clear the governance problems and focus on townships (towns) and villages. On this basis, we will formulate an implementation plan to promote the special governance of outstanding problems in key areas of changing customs, clarify the governance objectives, priorities and division of responsibilities, propose practical measures to address both the symptoms and the root causes, and establish a special governance promotion mechanism.

The Plan requires that all villages be guided to carry out the revision of village rules and regulations, enrich the content of changing customs such as new marriage affairs, simple funeral affairs, filial piety to the elderly and loving relatives, and introduce binding measures to clearly tell farmers what to advocate and oppose, how to operate and what not to do about weddings and funerals.

"An important reason for the increasing importance of rural betrothal gifts is to compare with each other. When men and women go on blind dates, the betrothal gifts offered by your family are higher than those offered by other families. This is a vicious circle, which is pushing them higher and higher." Lin Jing, who suffered from the high bride price, strongly supported the government's efforts to rectify the high bride price and human comparison, but he also said that there must be various practical difficulties in this process. "If we can really achieve low bride price, even zero bride price, and frugal wedding, we will definitely support and welcome." Lin Jing said to Jimu journalists.

The "centralized service" gift is not more than 50 yuan

The bride price is determined by both men and women through consultation, and it is difficult for outsiders to intervene, while the scale of the banquet can be interfered by government departments.

Bancun Village, Xinghuaying Farm, Kaifeng Urban Rural Integration Demonstration Zone, has a population of 312 in 87 households, which is a resettlement village. It was relocated from Bancun Village, Nancun Township, Mianchi County, Sanmenxia City in June 2000. Ban Village has been sparing no effort to advocate the implementation of changing customs in rural areas.

Recently, Jimu journalists saw in Ban Village that the houses in the village are of the same style and the roads are smooth and clean. In the center of the village, there is a special place for red and white affairs, which is called the "Relocation Class Village Centralized Office Yard". The yard has a kitchen, private rooms, tables and chairs. "We also set up the Red and White Council. The community masses and cadres went to the Red and White Council of the community to report their wedding and funeral affairs. We provided free venues and personnel. We made a banquet menu for the masses in combination with the actual situation of the masses. When there was a matter, we concentrated on handling it to avoid the waste of resources caused by repeated site settings." The relevant person in charge of the village said.

Bancun Centralized Business Courtyard (photo source: Jimu News Reporter)

In the centralized business courtyard, the unified handling standard for red and white affairs formulated by the village is posted. The cost of each table of banquet is controlled within 200 yuan. The dishes are eight meat dishes and eight vegetable dishes. Each bottle of wine is not more than 40 yuan, each cigarette is not more than 100 yuan, and the total size of the banquet is not more than 20 tables. In addition to relatives, the maximum amount of gift for villagers in this village shall not exceed 50 yuan. In terms of marriage, the total number of wedding vehicles shall not exceed 6. It is prohibited to ask for bride price that exceeds the actual bearing capacity through marriage. It is against the bad habits of making bridal chamber, playing with bridesmaids, bridesmaids and parents in law.

[P. Except for weddings and funerals, it is recommended not to handle matters such as the full moon, the first year of life, relocation, birthdays, and school entrance. If necessary, only your immediate family members are invited to attend, and non relatives are not allowed to attend, and no cash gifts are allowed. Party members and cadres who ignore and violate the regulations and carry out major operations are ordinary villagers. In principle, they will not consider the basic living allowances, various relief and preferential treatment policies in the village, and will be disqualified from the selection of "civilized families" and "five good families" and will be criticized in a circular.

"Both red and white food are prepared by villagers themselves, except for chefs. Although the standard for each table is only 200 yuan, it is absolutely guaranteed that they will be satisfied and eat well. The villagers will pack the rest of the food and take it home to avoid waste." Introduced by the person in charge of the village.

A villager in Ban Village told the reporter that people in the village are very supportive of centralized work. There are not many people in Ban Village. If we need help, it will not only be lively, but also save time and money.

[P The head of the village said.

(Source: Jimu News)